"Take her to ER, I've never seen anything this bad."

 

Those few words from my doctor rang out of my moms cell phone louder than anything I'd heard before that. Like when someone talks in a normal voice to wake you up and it feels like a scream. Sharp, intense, and loud. It's truly my first real memory. Everything before that feels like a dream.

 

My mom yelled "Don't be afraid! Don't be afraid!" and it took me years to realize even though she had spoken it to me, she was really talking to herself. 

 

I pressed my back against the bucket seat of ‘Ole Bessy, our big blue van. Gripping the arm rests and listening to the sound of the tires weer against the highway pavement. Again sharp and intensely loud, while we sped the 40 minutes from my doctor to our local hospital. 

 

I sat in the bed waiting for what seemed like hours. Finally coming to the conclusion that it must not really be that bad if I'm just sitting here. They started fluids and I ate a piece of pepperoni pizza. The kind that's so greasy, the box it comes in is stained dark around the edges. The good kind.

 

There was suddenly a rush to take away the fluids and a faceless doctor came in to say they wouldn't be treating me. An ambulance was being sent down from a much bigger hospital. As I was loaded into the ambulance, the EMTs speaking just a little bit too calmly… I realized that, yes, it really was that bad. 

 

After I was diagnosed with kidney failure at 15, I was put on emergency dialysis just a few hours later. I don't remember much of those first few days, but my life would never ever be the same(something less corny). I was learning new medication and what it did, training to do dialysis at home, and dropping basically everything in my life in an effort to stay alive. After weeks of training on how to operate my new life, I was home, hooked up to a machine. 

 

That's just the beginning. Now at 30 and three kidney transplants later, beauty school, finding my love for personal style, a business, a little puppy, and a marriage, I'm living the life I never ever dreamed I would. A life filled with joy, faith, and fun. I'm here to show you how to maximize and romanticize your life. All you have to do is say yes.

​

M.B.